The Softer aspects of work
Wherever you happen to be in your leadership career, most likely you will at some point have heard the human aspect of work described as ‘The fluffy stuff’. Sometimes even ‘The PINK fluffy stuff’. What do you think when you hear that? Is it irritating? Amusing? De-prioritised?
More often than not, the emotional and human aspects of our workplaces are discussed as ‘soft’ (in contrast to the ‘hard’ aspects such as Finance, Data, Deadlines etc). Maybe you have felt or feel this way yourself?
Does this description of hard versus soft skills mean one is more important or prioritised in leadership over another? Are HR there to cover the soft skills – the pink fluffy stuff? Whilst the real business leadership concentrate on the real results and outputs?
We know that great leaders are brilliant at building relationships and engaging with others’ feelings at work. Often referred to as Emotional Intelligence – there are many leaders who understand the importance and have been educated on the language – so why does the conversation about the ‘pink fluffy stuff’ prevail?
Engaging with feelings is not easy. In fact we of course all know that the soft skills are definitely hard. When we describe these as pink and fluffy or soft might it help us to hold at arms-length the challenge and vulnerability required to step fully into the uncertainty of human relationships?
In an article a couple of years ago Joe Wright (1)looked into the origins of the description of ‘soft skills’. He found this came from 1970’s US Military and was coined to contrast the hard skills of working with machinery, based on the observed importance of not just technical skills but how a group was led. He says: ‘we recognise that those skills are important, but the majority of training we do at school or work is technically focussed. This frustrates those that recognise the untapped potential we have if we started teaching ‘soft skills’’.
Increasingly in a world where mental health is at the forefront of our responsibilities as leaders and employers and in our wider society, perhaps the perceived risk of navigating feelings and relationships might now be outweighed by the risk of not leaning in.
I don’t mind what we call it – I like ‘Soft’ and why does the workplace need to have all hard edges and laminate? I favour bringing in some ‘pink and fluffy’. It doesn’t matter to me what we call it – it matters to me our attitude towards feelings and relationships at work and our deep understanding as leaders that this IS OUR JOB. Maybe it does feel less tangible than other aspects we can measure? Perhaps the traditional definition of measurement could be expanded?
Leadership in the 21st century requires us to get comfortable with people and especially people who may be different to ourselves. Not only get comfortable but level up to understand human behaviour at a deeper level so we can celebrate and support each other.
It strikes me that those who might resist the importance of relational skills might just be those who need them the most?
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